Is Comparing Bad for Child? 8 Reasons to Discourage It

Comparisons play an important role in our lives. Whenever we have to make a choice we use comparisons to find out what is best. If we have to buy a dress, or a car, or anything else, we look out for the options. Then we compare them for their features and benefits and then we choose to buy one of them.
However, the use of comparisons among kids is not a good practice. Comparing is bad for children and has many adverse effects on their growth and development and children often don’t go well with comparisons. Here we have discussed 8 main reasons why we should discourage comparing children.

1. Sibling Rivalry

This is the worst consequence Parents can face if they make comparisons among their kids. Every parent wants their kids to grow with love and good bonding among them. But when parents instead of appreciating and praising the uniqueness of each kid for their individual talents, be it in academics, sports, music, or any other field of interest. And start comparing their kids with each other. Kids start developing negative emotions for each other like hatred and jealousy. They may start to dislike each other and grow with this bitter emotion.
Parents should realize that each child is born with a different unique nature. One may be good in academics and not so good in other fields. Same way the other Child may have a great interest in sports, and not do that well in academics or any other field. So instead of comparing child, their individual capabilities should be encouraged and cherished. This way they will excel in their individual fields and also have a healthy bonding lifelong.

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2. Low Self Esteem

Often comparing your child with others, develops a Low Self-Esteem in the child. If a child is constantly compared to other children and repeatedly told that he is not good in certain areas and he is worthless. The child’s self-esteem is going to get hit badly. The child then may also not perform in other areas where he could have done well due to low self-esteem. And Low Self-esteem has many adverse effects on a child’s behavior and character.

Children with low self-esteem start to criticize and blame themselves for everything wrong that happens around them. Instead of focusing on their strengths, they tend to focus more on their weaknesses. They feel less deserving of everything. They lose the ability to assert themselves and prioritize their needs and feelings. All these lead to poor mental growth of the child.

3. Low Self Confidence

Not only self esteem, but when we compare our child to other children and tell them that are not good at something, their confidence also takes a hit. Their Self-confidence gets Low. Kids will start considering themselves incapable of doing any task and they will get nervous now and then. Low Self Confidence will create a notion of self-doubt in their minds and they will become hesitant in nature. Which will ultimately prevent them from achieving any goal or doing any task properly.

Read: How To Boost Your Child’s Confidence

On the other hand, if we constantly compare our child and tell him that he is better than others. This kind of comparing of a child is also not good, as it makes him overconfident and arrogant. Your child may start bullying others as he may assume himself better than other children and them not being as good and equal to him. Therefore in any way comparing is bad for child.

4. Inferiority Complex

Children facing constant negative comparisons may sometimes grow the feeling of Inferiority Complex. Which may lead to a state of depression in them and they will become extremely sensitive. They will constantly have this deep-seated feeling of lack and inadequacy. They will show frequent emotional breakdowns.

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Not considered equally good to other children, your child may try to prove himself equal or better than others by trying and seeking more attention and value. Your child will try many ways of doing it, like demeaning others, which is easy but not appropriate. In the process of demeaning other children, your child will try to lower their status and damage their reputation. Which is not good for your kid’s childhood as he may lose friends and will be left alone.

5. What if Kids Compare You to Other Parents

Parents beware, this will be the worst outcome if you have the ha bit of comparing your child to others. Your constantly comparing your child to his peer may result in forcing your child to compare you to other parents. Everybody is not equal or same, as is said for the kids, it is also true for parents. Every parent has some bad and good qualities. But if your child starts comparing you to other parents his focus will be more on the bad ones. It will damage your bonding with your kids.

Read: Good Parenting Tips

6. Lose their identity

While trying to carry the load of your expectations, dear parents your child may lose his own individual identity. He will try to become someone you praise a lot, someone you compare your child to a lot. They will lose their uniqueness and way of thinking. Kids will suppress their wishes and will become less expressive. They will be less assertive of their thoughts and will find it hard to make decisions. Going into adulthood they will be more depended on others to make decisions for them.

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7. Social Withdrawal

Regularly comparing your kids to others creates Peer Pressure on your kids which forces them to cut off socially. They don’t see themselves as good as others, they get the feeling of odd one out and start isolating themselves. Kids begin to refrain themselves from engaging in peer social activities and will prefer solitude. They will also start avoiding parents and will become very shy, which may be an early warning of them going into depression.

Must Read: Easy Steps to Reduce Screen Time for Your Kid

8. Kid’s Talent will go Unexplored

Born with uniqueness every kid different is from other kids. They all possess different- sets of skills and talents. Some may be good in sports, some in academics, some in music and some may be in art. But when we start comparing kids, we are telling them to do something which they may not be good at. If we keep on putting pressure on a kid to be good in academics, but his/her interest is in sports or arts. That Talent will go Unexplored, that Talent will be Wasted. Kids can excel in their field of interest, so don’t put pressure on them to do something else by comparing them to other kids.

Don’t forget to share your view in the comment section.

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This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Jayesh

    Good parenting tips

  2. Ram nandal

    Awesome experience for being good parents
    Pls read thoroughly